Quiet
by The You of Yesterday
Summary: Anko and Karin meet for the first time. You would think the result would be anything but quiet...


_Note:_**  
**

_This story came from the brilliant Eldr-Fire's idea "The Quest" which is described on her profile. Basically the idea is to take unusual character combinations, particularly those which haven't got any stories for them yet, and go with them._

_My story 'Erase' featuring Kakashi and Kisame was also done as part of this challenge!_

* * *

**Quiet**

_Anko and Karin meet for the first time. You would think the result would be anything but quiet..._

* * *

Ibiki sighed as he watched Kakashi walk away with a shrug. He knew Kakashi would do what needed to be done and re-instigate the proper chain of command, but why did he always have to act so flippantly, as though he didn't give a damn when he actually cared more than anyone else in this damn village?

He would make an excellent Hokage, Ibiki thought.

With some reluctance, the Head of Torture and Interrogation turned away from the view over the village and followed his useless subordinate and that loud-mouthed woman inside his new HQ. He seriously doubted he would be able to squeeze anything useful out of that woman using force. She obviously wasn't loyal to either Orochimaru or Uchiha Sasuke, and she'd already practically said she was open to bribery.

Ibiki just wasn't much god at bribery. He didn't have the patience to sit there and get someone whatever they wanted before they gave him what he wanted. And he didn't know when to stop giving or promising stuff. Go too far, and the prisoner thinks they can walk all over you. Don't go far enough and they won't talk at all.

No, Anko was much better at the more subtle side of interrogations than he was. Ibiki was the first to admit that he was better at the 'Torture' side of the role.

He arrived at the room where That Woman was being held in time to see his stupid subordinate cowering and bowing down to her in apology. Whatever the hell was going on here Ibiki wasn't standing for it. He needed Anko's help now, but he couldn't leave this useless twerp alone to take care of the Woman - she would probably have him treating her to a five night mini-break at the local onsen before he made it back.

Ibiki's solution was to take the key to the cell and lock both of them inside. That way, nothing could happen.

He didn't consider the potential death of his useless subordinate 'something happening'. It was an acceptable risk.

Anko was in the dango shop as usual, munching away and animatedly telling stories to Kurenai. As usual, she threw each empty stick into a nearby pillar. She wouldn't stop eating until she had formed the entire Konoha symbol with the sticks, and that too fifty-one sticks. Ibiki knew this from experience. It was always the same. Fifty-one blasted sticks of dango before she would budge.

He could see that so far, the Konoha leaf was just over halfway there. She had eaten thrity-two sticks of dango so far, and there were seven on her plate and one in her hand.

Feeling the need to speed things up, Ibiki walked straight past the two kunoichi and ordered eleven sticks of dango at the bar, before he went over to say hello and to see if they wanted any more drinks.

Kurenai wanted a jasmine pearl tea, Anko wanted a cherryade, and Ibiki decided to go with a normal green tea.

Anko wasn't surprised when the plate of eleven dango arrived.

"Need me for something then, Ibiki?" she asked, using her tongue to clean off another stick - number thirty-nine - and throw it into its position in the leaf motif.

Ibiki nodded. "Difficult interrogation. I need your bargaining skills."

Kurenai looked interested. "Would this be the woman Kakashi and the others brought back?"

Ibiki nodded. "That's the one. She is extremely loud."

Anko looked at him with mock-offence. "Oh, so because she's loud you want me to deal with it because I'm loud too, is that it?"

Ibiki nodded. He knew she was just messing around.

She threw another stick at the column with absolute precision. "Just let me finish up and I'll go and speak to her. I've heard she's another one who's in love with that Uchiha Sasuke. What's so damn special about that kid anyway?"She looked huffily away out of the cafe at the people passing by in the street. "Why, there are at least five people walking in the street right now who are better looking than him, and none of them have betrayed their village."

Ibiki and Kurenai both looked out from beneath the timber canopy of the dango shop, trying to spot these five people. Ibiki didn't really know what he was looking for - he had never found men attractive and didn't intend to start now.

Kurenai however seemed to find plenty to look at.

"Oh, I think you're right, Anko. I can see a few pieces of ass right there. It's not all about having a pretty face anyway. Some day all these silly girls will grow up and realise that." She continued to gaze out into the street, but her expression looked a little far-away and her eyes were moist. Ibiki guessed she was thinking about Asuma. He didn't usually do this sort of thing, but he was feeling compassionate and Kurenai was sitting right next to him, so he stuck out his hand and stroked her awkwardly on the back. She kept staring out for a moment, then turned to him with a smile. "Thanks, Ibiki."

Anko was watching him with suspicion. "Who the hell are you?" she said, pointing an accusing finger at Ibiki. Then she laughed and polished off her forty-third dango stick - only eight more to go - then carried on the thread of conversation from before.

"Yeah, us more mature women don't only want a pretty face - although it does help - we're much deeper than that." She paused and grinned at Kurenai, taking another entire stick of dango into her mouth in one go using her long tongue. "We're also looking for a guy who knows what he's doing in bed, and of course he has to have a really hot body."

Kurenai laughed out loud. Ibiki didn't know if Anko meant that or if she'd just said it to amuse her friend, but he guessed it was at least partly true of Anko at least. He didn't have a lot of experience of women, so he didn't really know what to make of the things they came out with. If he and his friends talked about women as thought they were pieces of meat in front of women like Anko and Kurenai, they probably wouldn't live to seethe next morning. Or at least, certain important parts of them wouldn't live to see the morning.

"Double standards" he thought. This was why he needed Anko's help with that Woman. She knew how women think, so would know what to do to bribe her most effectively. He glanced at his watch - it had been twenty minutes since he had left the HQ. He sort of hoped his dumb subordinate would still be alive when he got back. He hadn't intended to be away for this long, and it was kind of mean to not care if someone died or not just because they were a bit stupid. Anko still had five more sticks to finish off to complete the leaf symbol. Damn she was eating slowly, was she doing it on purpose?

He started tapping his foot as she talked on about clothes to Kurenai. She had a stick in her hand, but she wasn't eating it as she was talking too much, and it was making Ibiki lose his patience with her.

"Oh stop tapping your damned foot Ibiki!" Kurenai suddenly rounded on him with all the irrational anger only a pregnant women could muster. Then she turned to Anko. "And you, stop talking and eat that thing so you can go and interrogate this bitch. You're only taking this long because you know he's waiting and you want to wind him up. Just bloody well shut the hell up, eat it, finish your stupid pattern and get out of my face!"

Ibiki and Anko's eyes went wide as they stared at Kurenai, then at each other. That was unexpected.

Anko duly shut up and finished up in a hurry, and they got out of Kurenai's face as soon as they could - Ibiki made sure to leave enough money to cover the bill on the table.

Back at the HQ, the imbecile guard was still alive, but he was holding That Woman as she cried fake tears. He would make a damn useless interrogator, falling for every stupid sob story! Well, Anko was here now. She would soon throw this guy out and get on with business.

And she certainly did. Ibiki unlocked the door and watched as Anko stormed in and pulled the stupid guy away from That Woman.

"What the hell are you doing? Get out of here!" she put her face very close to his and shook him a little, then shoved him towards the door. He staggered a bit, but had regained his balance by the time he reached the door. Good thing too, this guy was supposedly a shinobi after all.

Her look told Ibiki that he could go - she had the situation in hand - so he shut the door and went into the next room to watch through the two-way mirror.

Anko's first move was to try to creep That Woman out but leaning in behind her and licking her cheek sensually.

It didn't work though, as of course That Woman had been with Orochimaru for goodness knew how long, so was used to far creepier snake-related stuff than a tongue. Anko realised this pretty quickly and she stopped and laughed, then took a seat opposite That Woman.

"Hah! I guess when you've worked for Orochimaru you're not likely to be freaked out by my little snake tongue, are you?" She leaned back in her chair and smiled in a friendly way. This was all part of her plan, Ibiki realised.

And the Woman realised too. She wasn't too dumb.

"Nah, and don't think you can get me to talk by being all pally. I know who you are. So we both got taken in by the same old creep? So what, that doesn't mean we're the same, or that I'll trust you." She leaned back in her chair, mimicking Anko's posture.

This woman was pretty good; Ibiki was already quite impressed, and he wouldn't mind giving her a job on his staff if she decided to defect to Konoha.

"Now, get me something to eat and I'll think about telling you some of the stuff I picked up about Sasuke-kun's plans. It'll have to be good food, I'm pretty loyal. I won't spill the beans for just something crappy like cup ramen."

She folded her arms huffily and pouted, turning her head to the side like a grumpy ten-year-old.

Ibiki guessed that she was actually only around eighteen years old, not much older than Kakashi's students really. About the same age as Ibiki's own kid brother.

Anko sighed and uncrossed her legs.

"All right, fine, I'll order you something, but you'd better give me some good info." She left the room and popped her head round the observation room door moments later.

"Hey, Ibiki. I need some decent ramen. Miso char-siu. And some tea and dango." Ibiki nodded and she disappeared again.

He called out of the room for someone, but the place seemed pretty deserted. Damn, he'd have to go himself. As quickly as he could, Ibiki hot-footed it to Ichiraku for a large miso char-siu, then grabbed the tea and dango from the cafe, were Kurenai was still sitting with her drink.

When he got back, Ibiki checked on the two women from the obs room window before thinking about going in. WHat he saw confused him. This didn't look like an interrogation at all, but a quiet, cosy chat!

"So Karin, what was it like to work with that Uchiha? Dish the dirt - how long does he spend on his hair in the mornings?" Anko was tipping her chair back onto two legs and balancing there as though she didn't have a care in the world.

"Hah! You would not believe how long he spent in the bathroom" Karin responded, grimacing and gesturing with her hands. "He shaved his chest, can you belive it?"

"What a tart!" Anko spluttered. "Orochimaru used to shave his entire body. Did you know that? Once, he tried to get me to do it". Both women shuddered at this idea, and Ibiki joined them. Ew. That was not an image he wanted to see.

He decided to go and give them the food, which they accepted with mumbles and nods, not even pausing in their quiet conversation.

Ibiki wasn't sure he really needed to watch this, but he knew he had to as it was his job. He presumed Anko had a plan of some sort.

.

_Later..._

Ibiki was bored out of his skull. Two of the loudest women he had ever met were just sitting there in his interrogation room, not even talking. They were both just eating dango and throwing the sticks into the wooden wall to make some sort of pattern. It wasn't the leaf symbol this time. but as there were only twelve sticks in there so far, Ibiki couldn't make out what it was going to be. The two of them seemed to know, however, as they both threw sticks with great certainty and accuracy.

It was all very strange. The oddest thing of all was that it was so quiet. They hadn't spoken in at least an hour and a half, and they both seemed quite content to just sit there in each other's company.

Ibiki didn't think he would ever understand women. You put too quiet women together and they could talk and giggle until forever, but you put too loudmouths together and they just sat there. Perhaps they cancelled each other out, he wondered, like a double negative?

Whatever. Well, apparently two louds make a quiet.


End file.
